Repairing Your Marriage After Substance Abuse Treatment

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Early in recovery, people tend to have high expectations of others without thinking about what they themselves are bringing to the table. Only when people know who they are and what they have to offer can they find a mate who is an appropriate match for their values, interests and goals. Desloover also advises newly recovering women to attend women-only 12-Step meetings during that first year. The focus of the first year in recovery should be on working your program, practicing the 12 Steps and meeting with your sponsor, counsels Desloover, not on the distraction of relationships. New relationships require knowing yourself first. If you or someone you know is experiencing distress, therapy with a marriage and family therapist can help. Sarah serves as a dedicated Admissions Specialist for Burning Tree Programs.

How does sobriety change relationships?

Once we're sober, we're able to start thinking more clearly. We're able to more honest with ourselves. We're able to be clear and upfront with the people we're close to. These are some of the powerful ways in which our relationships are changed with sobriety.

There hasn’t been much communication since then. I wish he would give me the chance to be a support system, I am so in love with him I would never drink again if we were a part of each other’s lives again. The support group is, first of all, a safe place in which one feels understood like nowhere else, since everyone there has had similar feelings and experiences. It is much easier to trust these marriage changes after sobriety relative strangers than it is to trust the loved one, who seems to have hurt us so often. This happens because recovery from addiction is necessarily a selfish thing. At first, the newly sober person is flooded with new feelings and sensations, and has a terrible time keeping them from overwhelming him. Guilt and shame over his past behavior make it difficult to let anyone get too close.

Addiction Treatment Services

Millions of families struggle with a loved one’s addiction, but many learn how to successfully adapt to the changes recovery brings. To be successful and manage these changes, it’s important to put yourself and your children first. When a loved one is addicted to a substance, some people develop a set of behaviors, thoughts, and actions known as codependency. Codependency occurs when the non-addicted person gets their needs met by caretaking for the addicted individual. Codependent partners typically enable their loved ones, make excuses for their partner’s actions, and feel like a martyr. If you are in recovery from addiction, it’s important to take things slow when it comes to rebuilding your marriage. Recovery is a process that takes time, and it’s important to focus on your sobriety first and foremost.

When not working, he enjoys spending time with his family and attempting to be decent at golf. Lastly, think about recovery as a family project. You’ll find there are helpful programs for the partners of recovering addicts and your children, too. Al-Anon, for instance, helps families of alcoholics with a program that’s similar to the 12 steps of AA.

How Can Marriage Survive Sobriety

If your spouse is going through recovery from addiction, you should be prepared for the challenges of keeping your marriage healthy and functional. The important point here is substance abuse by a partner causes damage to the marriage or relationship and these problems need to be treated, too. If the issues in the relationship are not treated, they can set the stage for continued conflict and, in turn, relapse to drinking or drug use.

  • For many of us, this sense of mistrust is carried into our adult lives and makes intimacy difficult or impossible.
  • The partner you needed and wanted 15 years ago is not the partner you need or want now.
  • At least you know you’re not alone in the fight to battling your partner’s addiction.
  • Sad truth- active addiction is stronger than love.
  • A proud Texas native, she has been with Burning Tree since 2009.
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